Why do some managers act as though they want to be friends with some of their team members by taking them to lunch or asking them to join them for lunch?
I think that’s interesting behavior since certain managers act real down-to-earth, like I’m just one of the guys, male or female, during these let’s-get-to-know-each-other occasions. Except, I don’t really want to get to know my manager so much in that venue or any other venue for that matter because, for me, there’s a disconnect in the paradigm.
First of all, my manager and I are never going to be friends, really, in the truest sense of the word. How could we be? He or she is my manager and, as sure as the sun is going to set this afternoon and rise in the morning, there’s going to come a time, sooner rather than later, when the manager is going to need something from me, if not daily, and play the I’m-the-manager card.
So, that obviates the friendship pretty quickly because I don’t think asking someone to do something for you as frequently as a manager asks an employee to do something is on the list of how friends interact with one another.
Secondly, I know my manager makes more money than I do, probably a lot more. I figure at least 50% more. Maybe 60%, which is what I think about when he or she is being a good ‘ole boy or girl at lunch. I think about this:
*Since you’re making a lot more money than I am, why don’t we spend this time together talking about how I can advance professionally to make what you’re making?
I know that salary is a taboo subject in most workplaces. Let’s not ever talk about salary because, of course, we’re all here for the good of the company. The money is secondary; that is, when you’re already making nice money. Life is sweet.
Curious to me, always, how those making the big bucks never want to discuss salary with those who are earning less. At least, that has been my experience. They will, if you bring up your salary, immediately attempt to justify your lower salary as though you’re supposed to be eternally grateful you make 50% to 60% less than he or she does.
Maybe, he or she feels guilty, thinking, “There, but for the grace of God, go I.”
Let’s talk the truth. And the truth is this: Let’s understand you’re my manager, and I’m your employee, and I’m real happy to be working for you. But, don’t try to be my friend at lunch because if, truly, you were my friend, you’d be fighting with everything you have to help me move along in the chain of command.
Tags: Business, Employee, Employer, Management, Manager, Relationships, Work, Working
